.. and now the Ugly..

Up until now it's been mostly Good with a little Bad - now we get to the Ugly...and NO, Joann didn't throw a hot iron at me, not that I remember... Have been talking about the radiation redness on my back for several weeks now. Don't mean to gross anyone out, but this is what it is today, a full blown burn...and it's been a week since the last treatment. Actually this is better than it looked a week ago when it was so bad Jo refused to take a picture of it...and she has seen some pretty nasty stuff working for surgeons. Odd that the radiation I thought would be a breeze is giving me the most trouble. Still a small price to pay if it does what it's intended to do. Other than this everything is returning to normal. Not as tired as I've been for the past seven weeks and my strength is coming back. I've even got a jump on the physical therapy thing - nothing crazy - just loosening up, doing a little cardio and using muscles that have been idle for awhile - feels good. I'll be getting serious after the first of the year. Hope the PT helps my golf game .. I imagine this is Carl's wish also...I cost him alot of money last summer.
Hope you all had a great Christmas with your families, thanks again for your kind words and prayers (and putting up with my incoherent ramblings) and we'll continue on after the New Year.
LIVESTRONG

Family time

Jo and I went to our first Christmas party of the season at Joe Hassell's place in Davisburg Saturday. Some of you know the Hassell's, most don't, so let me tell you a bit about them. L to R : Frank, who is solely responsible for getting me into FoMoCo and teaching me it's the work that's important in the corporate world, advise I passed on to my sons. I owe my career to this man. Brian, the youngest, who put himself through Eastern Michigan on a football scholarship and was the first in the family to earn a college degree - great kid. Joe, who is quite a craftsman in his own right, does the property mgmt thing by day, runs marathons because he can and whose passion is music. Joe wrote a song about a guy that had a stroke ten years ago that blew me away. To say his music comes from the heart is an understatement. Debbie always had an artistic flair, is teaching art in the Brighton school district and has had over 1000 students pass through her class w/o any casualties. Her and Yves have three great kids that are growing up way too fast. And then there's Horton, my oldest cousin (by some accounts) at 73. My mother and Aunt Fritz were always trying to hook her up with my cousin Mickey, What no one knew is she had a thing for Bob Nagaj, who, of course was younger. So I guess that makes her a cougar. Whatever, she's still one of my favorite people. It's a shame she will likely never speak to me again after reading this... Next month she is taking her granddaughter out for a drink on her 21st birthday - how cool is that ? I'll be 79 before I can do that with Avery...I can wait.
This is a great time for being with family and friends and I guess I'm looking at it differently this year than in the past. Everyone touches someone in one way or another. Can't take anything or anybody for granted anymore. Maybe none of us should. Have a wonderful Christmas everyone and we'll talk again in a week or so. Hope you enjoyed meeting the Hassell's.
Ken

Self explanitory...

Thought I'd share a poem the nurses gave me after my last treatment of 2009.







Cancer is so limited

It cannot

Cripple love

Shatter hope

Corrode faith

Destroy peace

Kill friendshp

Suppress memories

Silence courage

Invade the soul

Steal eternal life

It cannot

Conquer my spirit

They really know how to push my buttons...

Very emotional day - the nurses from the cocktail lounge came by along with Dr. Henning to exchange good-byes. Got to hug some very nice ladies and my radiology nurses, Barb and Tracy autographed my shaved chest and drew a fork w/ the inscription "It's done". I think the lead walls in the radiation room need to be thicker....
Have been in the care of some incredible people over the last seven weeks and can't thank them enough for making the unthinkable bearable. Same goes for those reading this.
Looking forward to the break until the January 12th cocktail and giving my back time to heal.
Talk to you again soon - have to give Paul a lesson in cribbage.
Ken

Last Call

Last cocktail of 2009 today and glad it's over. My dislike of needles is well documented. As usual the benadryl puts me to sleep and the steroid keeps me awake. Confused ? Think of it this way - I sleep but dream I'm wide awake. There, that ought to clear up any confusion...and it lasts two days. Burn on my back is getting worse so they've prescribed a silver sulfadiazine cream that's specifically for burns - does the trick much better than the hydracortisomedamnthing ointment suggested earlier, which lasted only 20 minutes. Last radiation treatment is this Friday but the effects will last well into January 010. I'll be "glowing" into the new year...
The nurses in radiation and the cocktail lounge are going to miss Joann. She has been taking in baked goods since we started treatment seven weeks ago and the gals always perk up when she hits the door. For me, not so much. Today she took in "crack" - they're all hooked - Jo sure has been a rock through all of this -
Next blog will be Friday - may be the last one as promised in the beginning or I may take it to the final exam in March. Whaddaya think ?
LIVESTRONG

One more week

Heading into the final week of treatments tomorrow. Strangely I compare this to a student facing one more week of class...wondering if he'll made the grade or not...thus the picture of Cass Technical HS in downtown Detroit. Eight floors, four elevators, five minutes between classses with four thousand plus students in the hallways... Man, I loved that place... could write a book about it.
Good size burn on my back from the radiation treatments. Skin is breaking down..not pretty but believe it's a sign that photons charged to 6500 volts and shot at the tumors MUST be destructive. Not that I'm complaining about the sunburn as this is the worst side effect I have experienced. "Grades" ( final CT) come out around the first week of March. We'll be pretty edgy until then, I'm afraid.
My last blog seems to have struck a nerve in several of you, especially the 20% figure. I apologize for that and do appreciate the candor of your comments. I guess when it's someone else, it's 20%, but when it's yourself, it's always 100%. Talk to you again Tuesday after my last cocktail of 2009.
LIVESTRONG

It's not all this easy...

My question to Dr Henning today was "what's next?" So far he has been very cautious to discuss the future, opting instead to discuss the present, no doubt due to his highly structured "Ready, Aim, Fire" approach to his trade, (unlike the "Ready, Fire, Aim" mentality I'm accused of possessing). Here's the Reader's Digest version of our conversation.

The ACS is reporting that overall cancer related deaths in the US are decreasing 2% yearly, which is fantastic news, but the 5 year survival rate for lung cancer patients remains at best 20%. Hell, I faced better odds making it out Jeff Haller's office alive ! (The Ford launch guys just had a chill run up their spines, believe me)

The reality is that I can expect a reoccurance as soon as several months to many years down the road after this round of treatments is over. The good news is we'll be ready for it, not blindsided and deal with it. Joann and I have met and spoke to people that are currently being treated for their second or third bout of cancer, up to and including one in her 90's. Amazing.

This disease just doesn't let go. I'm telling you this because I am told over 100 people read this thing regularly and I really don't want to be reading your BLOG one day. Live your life your way. I make no apologies for my past lifestyle and expect none from you - but do be honest with your doctor about your bad habits and get checked out yearly. The screenings are painless and early detection is paramount. Just a suggestion from a friend walking the walk....

LIVESTRONG

10 and 2 to go

After today we are looking at 10 radiation treatments and 2 cocktails to complete this year's plan on the 18th of December. If the last two weeks go as well as the first five, I will consider myself very, very fortunate. I was expecting and prepared for much worse.
Last Tuesday in the cocktail lounge the nurses were treating a 94 year old woman in the cubicle next to mine. I had to ask and they told me they never give up on a patient. 94 and still fighting. God love her.
Tomorrow we're headed to Port Austin to see Ric and Deb for the day and to take measurments for a Spring kitchen remodel, which of course will pretty much be a gut job. If you can't hit something with a sledgehammer what's the point ?
Glad I added my e mail address to the last BLOG - hearing from many old friends from Ford - brings back alot of good memories of the worse job I ever loved.
Have a good weekend
Ken

There's a pill for that

My kitchen windowsill pharmacy. Can't read the labels anymore so I mark the tops w/a Sharpie. From L to R : SLEEP, POOP, SORE THROAT, SWALLOWING, COUGH, NAUSEA, HEADACHE, VITAMIN. The KISS theory (Keep It Simple Stupid) at work. Had a rough day in treatment yesterday. A new infusionist, Kay, poked my arm high and didn't hit the vein, it swelled up and she had to poke me again, this time near my wrist. Let's just say the pain was "memorable" and I'm still feeling it today. God, I hate needles, but who doesn't ? Apparently chemo is hard on veins with a tendency to shrink them -harder to stick that garden hose in them. The effects of chemo last about two days but are tolerable, mostly body soreness, a slight headache, ringing in the ears and being tired. Met with Dr Henning again and the reports are still good. Both he and my oncologist have told me if the treatments weren't working, I would be having some very unpleasant side effects, like night sweats, nausea, chills and numbness/tingling in the arms and hands. They constantly ask if I have these symptoms so I have a feeling they're more common than I care to think. Can't imagine others going through that, especially those that are infused multiple times weekly - no time to recover. The only side effects I have now from radiation are skin redness and I've lost my voice - Joann loves the latter...
We now stand at 13 more radiations and 2 cocktails before Christmas and the 2 big cocktails in January.The dates keep changing. May get the final CAT scan in February instead of March - the one that counts.
Talk to ya again Friday.
LIVESTRONG